I had blogged recently about some discord that had erupted in a UU congregation. I normally enjoy being around these people because it tends to be the highest concentration of humanists I can find. But in this day and age of reactionary politics, no issue is considered to controversial to pick fights over. Battle lines will get drawn and people like me, who want to hear points-of-view before sharpening the bayonette, are often steamrolled in the process. There are lots of definitions for political correctness, but I like George Carlin's the best. "Political Correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it's especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance." I can't do Carlin any justice here, so you should probably listen to that whole rant yourself. My point to bringing this up is that defensiveness puts up barriers to having discussions. It insulates people from the harms of having dangerous thoughts. And once a group of people subscribe to the idea that certain thoughts are harmful to others and should be avoided, then a consensus of self-regulated censorship arises. This war against ideas is then utilized by various factions to shut down the words and ideas of other factions. The once noble idea of supporting one-another turns into full-on tribalism.
Now, understand that I'm not in favor of people being bigoted jerks or using words to intentionally do harm onto others. There is a fine line between having effective public discourse and being a troll. This is about shutting down ideas because the idea is too dangerous to discuss. There is NEVER an idea that should be too dangerous to discuss. Your child won't turn into Hitler because someone expresses that they think gay marriage has problematic outcomes. Look, I support gay marriage. I don't support suppressing the speech of someone who doesn't. You can fight intolerance without being intolerant. Especially when the people in question share 99% of your worldview and attend your same freaking congregation. When conversations are emotional and people incensed, I think seeking proper discourse gets confused with codified language and group think. Rather that seeking suppression, I really believe that people need to reflect on their own attitudes and ask some important questions: 1) Am I engaging in a logic fallacy ? I see ‘No True Scotsman’ fallacy every day, very common problem when dealing with groups who go into tribal group-think. Get familiar with fallacies and learn how to spot them. 2) Why am I so passionate about this? The idea here is to check your ego. If you ever had a passionately defended something or someone who you never met or otherwise have no connection to, you might be the type of person who ego-bonds to ideas. When your ego is fighting, chances are you aren't having open and honest conversations. 3)Am I listening? You are probably hearing words and searching for triggers, but are you listening? And by listening, I mean listening with a constructive mind that has the capability of sorting and categorizing information - and possible asking for clarification before coming to conclusions. 4) Do I accept diversity and inclusion? That's not just talking about gender identity, race, culture and religious background. Its talking about diversity of ideas. That means giving people I may not agree with a chance to speak. You don't have to agree with them. But you don't have to cut them out of conversations, unless of course they are trying to do that to you. 5) Can I practice forgiveness? Forgiveness isn't just for that time your nephew broke your favorite video game console ( I'm still taking deep breaths, Justin). It also means micro-forgiveness. Can you forgive a person for acting like a jerk? For being insensitive? For saying something triggering? And if you can't, you should probably get to the bottom of "why" before trying to having some deep discourse with others. No one - not one single person, is beyond making mistakes. Practicing forgiveness allows you to be a better listener, a empathetic speaker , and a reasoned thinker.
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